About Me

My name is Janice Murphy.

I am a mommy to a beautiful angel, Analiese Claire.

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My first love will always be reading.

I am an Arbonne Independent Consultant.

University of Maryland is my school. Go Terps!

I’m married at 25, and I’m a military spouse.

I’m a cat lover, and puppy wanter.

Harry Potter is my obsession.

7 thoughts on “About Me

  1. My heart is with you and I admire your courage. When my Jacqueline died I was not able to write about it and it lied buried deep inside me for many years. Yes it is decades since she died and it is also yesterday. Free now to write, there have been poems about her. With the first poem (And the Rain Fell) https://poetryphotosandmusingsohmy.wordpress.com/2012/05/26/and-the-rain-fell/ the damn had burst and even if she isn’t in everything I write now, she is still with me just as your daughter will always be with you. Léa

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  2. Thank you for having the courage to share your grief. You are an amazing writer, and an even more amazing woman. I can see where Analiese got her spirit and her strength from. My love and thoughts are with you, your husband, and your daughter.

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  3. My heart aches for you. Try to remember, your daughters light has not gone out, for it shines brightly in the hearts of all who love her!

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  4. I had my son on June 2nd, 2015. It was also my 39th birthday. I never got to see or to hold him as he was to small. I am so happy for you that you had those 85 minutes. I envy those 85 minutes. I’ve read your postings and know how heartbroken each and every word you say is. Breathing hurts. Sleeping hurts. Life hurts. And it always will. But, then, as the days go on, the pain of life eases. One day, you will wake up and breathing will not hurt. Your heart will allow you to laugh and enjoy the new you that you have become. Do not strive for the old you, she died along with your baby. But embrace the new you. The new woman who learned how to survive the biggest tragedy a mother can suffer. Embrace the fact that you are stronger and braver than you ever thought you were humanly capable of being. Your heart will always be broken. But broken hearts learn to love again and to live happily again. Remember back to the first boy who broke your heart as a young girl, your heart learned to love again and function broken. While losing your baby is the worst type of broken, and the pain is immeasurable to a young heartbreak, the point is it will still work again, in time. Grieve how want, and as long as you aren’t putting yourself or anyone in danger, then that is the proper way to grieve. Only you can grieve for yourself. I can’t give you an exact time, but I can tell you that one day you will breathe again. One-day you will smile and actually mean it. It will take you by surprise, so do not try to make it happen. It will happen on its own. And when it does happen, know that your baby girl in heaven will not feel as if she is forgotten. She will smile knowing her mommy is happy again…

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  5. Janice. As you are learning, when you come across someone who has been through the same experience (hell) as you, you feel an immediate connection and bond. It is such a relief to know that for that person, there are no words needed, no explanations. They just ‘know’ the pain you bear. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am about beautiful Analiese. That pain will never go away, but you will feel happy again. You will enjoy life. The pain will still sneak up on you and take your breath away, but not as often. You will think about her every single day, but it won’t be that heart aching take your breath away kind of feeling. She will be part of your everyday thoughts. As she should be. The times that are tough are holidays, milestones, school starting every year. and anniversaries of dates regarding your pregnancy.
    My little boy Jacob Lee was diagnosed on July 9 2010 with trisomy 18 during my 20 week ultrasound. When he was stillborn at 26 weeks we spent about 3 hours with him. I get the teddy bear thing and i dare anyone to criticize you. They should thank God they don’t ‘get it’. That they have not joined this club. Please know you are going to be ok. Never the same, but ok. Hang on to your husband, and faith, if you believe. I pray each and everyday for people ‘like me’ and that now included you. You are stronger than you think, and much, much stronger than any Mother out there.
    Amy Pollock.

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