The past few days have been the hardest days of my entire life. I wake up and feel empty, because my little girl isn’t here to cuddle and snuggle. Time stopped while I was in the hospital, because even though my baby only lived 85 minutes, she was still with me. I don’t have that anymore.
I have made a decision that is helping me through the worst moments though. I’ve decided to donate my breast milk to a milk bank that only uses it for NICU preemie babies. This is emotional for me, but it also lifts my spirits. You see, I’m a production machine. In 3 days I’ve been able to freeze about 30 ounces of milk. By doing this, I am able to help sick babies, and that feels really good. But what feels even better it that Analiese’s life is contributing to something positive. She has enabled me to do something positive and give my baby a legacy by helping other babies live.
It’s going to be hard, because I want nothing more than to feed by baby. But I truly believe that it is going to be worth it.